7 Ways Your Siblings May Have Shaped You
It’s not just your parents who are responsible for how you turned out.
Though the extent of the sibling influence varies greatly from family to family and person to person, “there’s growing evidence to suggest that siblings shape each other in important ways,” Here are a few:
They may buffer stress.
Warm sibling relationships can be protective and seem to buffer kids against stressful events in family .
They provide good practice.
Research has clocked the rate of sibling squabbles at anywhere between six to 10 disputes per hour for certain childhood age groups, While these conflicts can be a headache for parents, they can help kids make developmental strides in a “safe relationship” and provide good training for interacting with peers . “You know there’s nothing really that you can do to make this [other] child terminate the relationship.” No matter what, he’ll be there tomorrow at the breakfast table. That safety enables siblings to practice behaving in ways they aren’t able to with other people. Sibling spats help kids learn what they think is right; to negotiate and compromise; and to tolerate the negative emotions that crop up in life. “This is the bright side. “Obviously, there’s an unpleasant side as well.”
“Some evidence suggests that when kids have good relationships with siblings, they’re more likely to develop good relationships with their peers.” But we’re still learning about that.
They may help raise our vulnerability to mental-health issues.
Sibling strife during mid-childhood is a predictor of increased anxiety, depression, and delinquent behavior in adolescence, the University of Denver’s Clare Stocker has reported. What’s more, a 2007 study in the American Journal of Psychiatry found that men who had poor relationships with even one sibling before age 20 were significantly more likely to become depressed by age 50 than men who got along with their siblings, independent of their relationship with their parents. This effect may not hold true for women, who weren’t included in the study, notes Robert Waldinger, an associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and leader of the research.
They can grease a slide into bad behavior.
Drinking. Smoking. Delinquency. Some research suggests that siblings’ bad habits rub off. “If you have a sibling who is participating in those types of activities, then you’re at higher risk for participating yourself,” says Katherine Jewsbury Conger, an associate professor of human development and family studies at the University of California-Davis who has studied those effects. Patricia East, a research scientist at the University of California’s San Diego School of Medicine, has found that girls were more than four times more likely to become pregnant as a teen if a sister had a baby as a teen, compared with girls whose sisters weren’t teenage moms.
They may inspire us to be different from them.
Accumulating evidence suggests that while some kids strive to be like their siblings, others do the opposite. She’s the pretty one, I’ll be the smart one. He’s the jock, I’ll be the scholar. Mark Feinberg, senior research associate at Penn State University’s Prevention Research Center for the Promotion of Human Development, studies this “differentiation” process. He says it’s how siblings try to carve out their own identity within a family so that each can be “special” in the eyes of parents. In one study, Feinberg found that siblings who were closer in age—say, a year apart—were more likely to differentiate than siblings separated by a bigger age gap, like four years. “Kids do this to minimize rivalry with one another,” says Jeanine Vivona, a psychologist and an associate professor at the College of New Jersey. But there may be consequences: “You lose something, some potential you might have had,” says Vivona, who has seen these feelings emerge in patients during therapy.
They may make us more jealous of romantic partners.
Early sibling jealousy may be a precursor to later romantic jealousy, says Amy Rauer, an assistant professor at Auburn University. Young adults who felt their siblings were favored by parents as kids had lower self-esteem and were more likely to report romantic relationship distress than people who felt they’d had a fair deal, Rauer reported in 2007. The former were more likely to be jealous of partners, suspicious of their loyalty, and wary of them interacting with others, she says. “What seemed to predict really good functioning in your relationship was feeling that you had been treated equally to your sibling,” says Rauer.
Or they may give a boost to our love life.
“Children who grow up with an opposite-sex sibling can be incredibly advantaged,” says Susan McHale, a professor of human development at Penn State University, “because they have more direct access to the world of the other sex.” In his new book, Strangers in a Strange Lab: How Personality Shapes Our Initial Encounters With Others, William Ickes, a distinguished professor of psychology at the University of Texas-Arlington, reviews some of the evidence from a study he did with college students. Those who were raised with older siblings of the opposite sex “hit it off better” with strangers of the opposite sex than did those raised with younger siblings of the opposite sex; conversation flowed more easily, and they were better liked. “If you’ve had any success with members of the opposite sex,” Ickes says, “you owe some of the credit to your older brother or older sister.”
Source : http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/articles/2009/07/31/7-ways-your-siblings-may-have-shaped-you?page=2